How to Drive Itachi Up a Wall
by TheReaper86
Summary: I just did this when I was bored. No flames plz!


A/N: I don't own any Naruto characters (that includes Itachi) _/sniffle/_. Sooooo... here's how ta annoy Itachi ;D

How to Annoy Itachi 

Repeat his name over and over

If he doesn't respond, learn 'weasel' in 2 other languages, and say those translations over and over

When you're in public with him, ask him (as loud as you can) if he's a virgin

Smack him and yell "You're a terrible person for killing your clan!"

Ask him if he wears contacts

Ask him where he gets his nail polish

Braid his hair in his sleep

When you guys are around Kisame, act all cute and flirty, caress his arm, and say "So, what are we doing tonight?"

Poke him

Paint his nails pink

Wear his cloak and say "OMG! I love how this matches my eyes!"

If he yells at you for being annoying, pout like a 5 year old and call him 'Mr. Grumpy Face'

Ask if his eye sight is doing okay like an overprotective mother

Grab a pillow and start smacking him with it

Run up behind him and yell "Hey girlfriend!"

Seduce him... in public

Whenever he tries to do something, say "You're so predictable."

When you're watching TV with him, start singing the theme song to Dora the Explorer

Put him and Sasuke in the same room

Ask his age

When he says it, respond "Damn! You look old!"

Hug him randomly

Tell him Sasuke is cooler than him

Tell fangirls where he lives

Let the fangirls into his house

Drop the F bomb on him every 5 seconds

When you sneeze, blame it on him

When he least expects it, run up behind him and laugh at him

Sing 'Pop Goes the Weasel' in a high pitched voice whenever he tries to talk

When (and if) he says "You're really annoying." you yell "HELP! STRANGER DANGER!" and point at him as you scream it

Tell Kisame Itachi's favorite soup is shark-fin soup

Laugh as Kisame tries to kill him

Randomly crawl into bed with him in the middle of the night

If he asks why you did that, say that you were having nightmares

Whenever he talks to you, pretend to zone out

Try to find his baby pictures and show the pictures to every person he knows

Including the fangirls

When the fangirls start to yell "OMFG! ITACHI, YOU WERE SUCH A CUTE BABY, I WANT YOU TO BE THE FATHER OF MINE!" laugh your ass off

Kiss him goodnight

Every night

Tell him you love him in a hateful way

Tell him you hate him in a loving way

Call him 'Sunshine'

When he asks why you're doing that, tell him it's the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth

Ask him if he sold his soul

Tell him that the best part of living is having a family

Throw him a party and only invite Sasuke (make sure Sasuke thinks the party is for someone else)

Randomly hand him a pillow and say "Just take all of your angers out on this and the world will be bright and happy again!"

Cry whenever he looks at you

Give him roses and have a card on them that says "From your biggest fan!" even though you're right there

When he tries to talk, mock him silently

When he gets suspicious of that, try your best to look innocent

Pat him on the head randomly and say "Good boy!"

Randomly walk into his house and yell "Honey, I'm home!"

Sing the theme song from 'Walker Texas Ranger' whenever he appears dramatic

Pretend to blush whenever he says "I HATE YOU!" and say "Awww... you're too kind."

Print out a ton of ItachixSasuke fanfictions and give them to him

Blindfold him and say that you're taking him to show him a surprise, put him in a car, drive him to his parents' grave, take the blindfold off, then say "If they were here they would be so proud of you!" and pretend to sniffle

Blow your nose into the sleeve of his cloak

Get a random picture of a baby that looks like you and Itachi, show it to Kisame, and tell Kisame that Itachi is your Baby-Daddy

Address him by the syllables in his name, so whenever you say 'Itachi', it should come out 'It-ach-iiiii', and make sure to exaggerate the last syllable

Put make-up on him while he sleeps

Set him up on a blind date with Sakura (but don't tell him it is Sakura), then when they meet up, yell "Child molester!"

Tell Disney they should make a depressing childrens' movie about him

Laugh your ass off if they really do

Try to look all sexy, then if you can catch his eye, say "So, who's your friend Orochimaru?"

Ask him if you're pissing him off

If he tries to say yes, then start singing the Numa Numa

Ask him if he's ever going to have kids

Before he answers, talk to yourself aloud "I wonder if they'll kill you and their mother like you did?"

If he ever gets a girlfriend, say "Itachi! I didn't know you had it in you!"

Show her Itachi's baby pictures

Laugh when she says "Awww..."

Laugh even harder if he gets her pregnant

Laugh your ass if they get engaged

Bust your gut if they get married

Die of laughing when their kid asks where babies come from

Laugh your ass off when you think back on this

Spat whenever he tries to talk to you

When he asks why you did this, say it's for the best

Laugh sarcastically if he messes something up

Stare at him with a death glare

Tell him that's what he looks like

Get him anti-wrinkle cream

Make a big deal of everything he does (like if he takes a shower, say "Oh my God!")

Sing the 'Happy Happy Joy Joy' song as loud as you can randomly to him

Jump on his bead

Tell him about the guy who killed his whole clan and family, but like an idiot, he left his brother

alive!Then say "Wait- that was you!"

89. Get two rings, give one to him, then scream "WONDER TWIN POWERS, ACTIVATE!"

90. Steal his cloak, tie it around your neck, make weird wind noises, flap your arms wildly, and pretend to fly (thanks baby bro!)

91. When he's trying to sleep, sneak into his room and make random farting noises

92. Tell him that you had the worst dream ever last night

93. If he asks what it was, respond "You were laughing."

94. Tug at his pony-tail and ask "Is this real?"

95. Ask him where there's a good bar

96. When he asks why tell him he should go meet people

97. Whenever he tries to eat, poke him so he doesn't

98. When you get old tell your grandchildren how you annoyed Itachi

99. Tell his grandchildren how you annoyed him

100. Show Itachi this list

**FIN...**

A/N: YAY! that was the first thing I ever posted! this is the best day of my life next to graduating, meeting the love of my life, having children (I don't believe in marriage), and going to my younger brother's wedding (he's still at the age where he thinks girls are 'icky', so I thought it would be funny to put that ;D)! wow... I must really have no life... jk.

Well, plz comment and rate, thnx! :D


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